THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE IN AN ALTERNATE REALITY WHERE JFK WAS NEVER ASSASINATED AND HIS VICE-PRESIDENT WENT ON TO INVENT A NEW TYPE OF VACUUM CLEANER WHICH REALLY GETS DUST OFF OF CARPETS IN A WAY NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE BUT THEY DIDN'T SELL
Claire walked into the kitchen, and turned on the light. She didn't really need to - there was daylight, after all - but the positioning of the windows was horrendous, and she thought the light might help wake her up or something. Get off her case already, you'd probably do the same.
She opened the leftmost cupboard, and pulled out a box of teabags and two mugs. One of them had a picture of an otter on it, the other some humorous quotation about being a husband which nobody had bothered to read for quite some time now. Claire opened the box and pulled out two teabags, depositing one in each mug. After pointlessly filling the kettle to maximum capacity, she put it onto the boil and waited.
The kettle took a long time to do its stuff, so she walked into the dining room, where someone with some sense had positioned the window. It faced towards the hills and towards the sun, which was just starting to poke its head out from the horizon. Somewhere upstairs, she heard the creak of floorboards as her husband got up, and steam began to rise out of the kettle. And she went back into the kitchen.
They were really good vacuum cleaners.